What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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