So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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