Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize