i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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