when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
