It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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