am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
