how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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