Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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