Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize