In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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