I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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