Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize