I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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