just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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