But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
