Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
