I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
