i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
