I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
