Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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