How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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