awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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