i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
