Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
me + whiskey = a bad person
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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