Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
