I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
