we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
