I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
