Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
