okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
