I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
