What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
pray to the hookup gods
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
