Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
