literally had 100 drinks last night.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
