They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
