he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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