I'm lost and stupid without you.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
