stop calling my apartment porn island.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
