no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
