yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
