trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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