I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
