your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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