When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
