He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
should my penis look like a turkey
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
