you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
