I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
