We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
