My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
