I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
