I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
