Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
