she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
