maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
